Monday, 28 February 2011

Proud to be *SELFISH*

O dear! I've always wanted to write a blog.This one being my first attempt ever, kindly spare the shortcomings.The topic I chose,i.e,"Selfishness in Human Nature" has always been of keen interest to me.My ideology is not based on any books on Human Psychology or behaviourism.It is based solely on my own personal experiences which shuddered me, time and again.

We claim to love people selflessly.We claim to love them more than we love our own selves. But,its just a disbelief. That we want ourselves to believe. A human Being is not capable of loving another if he doesnt get any favor in return.Within evolutionary psychology all human traits ultimately benefit selfish genes. In economics, it is axiomatic that humans are rational pursuers of self-interest.Self-Interest is the priority.All else is subsidiary.

I want to share some of my personal experiences which eventually led me into writing this. I am sure that you may have experienced likewise at some point of life or the other. Well,most of you!

A few years back,i went for a trip abroad.All was going well,till one day,when one of my dear ones jumped into the pool to show me off his swimming skills. While swimming,as he reached halfway,he began to drown.It was a pathetic sight,Indeed. I could not help him coz I didn't know how to swim.Another one of my family member jumped into the pool for his rescue.We were relieved! But the sight became all the more complicated when She herself began to drown.It was a shock! This was the time when I realized that self-defense mechanisms work in such a way so as to bring out the selfishness in Human Being in full bloom. She pushed upon him in order to save herself from being drowned! Its not that she consciously wanted to save herself at the cost of his life.This made me realize that in the self-defense mechanism, human beings express unconscious ,unwanted,impulses or desires which may sometimes not be recognized by the conscious mind.It was a miserable and pathetic sight for me. So the "self-defense" mechanism at play at that time was self-centered. No matter how much we love our family and dear ones, "SELF"is the most important. Self-defense is the priority. It is even scientifically proven that when anxiety becomes overwhelming, the defense mechanism employed by the mind and the body  to protect the individual is highly self-centered. Anyways,a spectator came to their rescue and saved them.Thank God for that! A sigh of relief.

Man is a narcissist by nature."I,ME,MYSELF" is what matters the most. We may claim to love our loved ones more than we love ourselves. But I take such statements superficially and at their face value.Whenever someone says,"I love you more than I love myself",I judge him. Well,I love myself the MOST,and when i say this,I am being honest. 

Another incident which I remember which strengthened my viewpoint was when my Mom was hospitalized recently. She had undergone a major operation. She could not help herself to the washroom far a few days. I was supposed to help her for the same. The irony of life is that our parents sacrifice a lifetime in nurturing us. They struggle,strive the whole life through to give us the best upbringing. But when its our time to return the favor,to help them through in their old age,in their trying times,we hesitate. We may or may nor do it,but it's never at will.Its forced in most of the cases. I was supposed to help her through the daily basic necessities. I exposed myself to the *selfish* me when I became hesitant to do so.This was the  woman who cleaned my shit all through my life,without a fine line on her forehead.But when it was actually my turn to help her through her trying times,I was doubtful.I began to despise myself and realized how selfish I could be. 

The selfishness pervades not only the human sphere.We love GOD because we expect something or the other in return.

1 comment:

  1. Human beings are surely selfish....i dropped all my hesitations (most of the time) when i mother got ill recently and took care of her although it can't be compared to what she did for me as she never thought of herself while taking care of me while i was surely concerned about my work / personal life sometimes.